Canadian World Domination

Envisioning Utopia!  (Satire, Canadian and American humo[u]r, etc. A bit dated actually; not sure when they last tended to this site, sadly.)

And visions of CWD past: Your Dear Leaders revealed!  (“Revealed” is right! They put the “domination” in “Canadian World Domination”!!)

Interestingly, they are Monarchists and pro-Duality, i.e., they believe in Canada as “English” and “French” (at least).  Maybe they’re really American NHL fans!!!  In any case, give ‘em the Order of Canada!  Then Canada can start giving “orders” to the rest of us, LOL!

Actually I thought they’d already conquered Martinique (see last two entries), but it turns out the “General” is an adjective that goes with “Counseil” [sic],  not with “Claire” and “Jenny.”  Too bad…!  But the Turks and Caicos Islands in the Caribbean may want “in”… and might already be if Canada weren’t so PC (meaning in this case Politically Correct, not Progressive Conservative!).

‘If you heart your freedom thank The Queen’*

The basic thrust of this short piece in a UK paper by an eminent UK professor.  (Accompanied by tons of robust criticism by anonymous posters, in the spirit of free speech/press Her Majesty has promised to defend to her last breath!)

For my tastes the author is a bit cavalier (no pun intended) about Northern Ireland, but after 830 years they did finally broker/reach a peace agreement and power sharing, one which holds on despite continuing bumps in the road.  Those American Indians who are left are still waiting for theirs….

(*–Or in Americans’ case, her ancestor George III!)

Funny Canada

About a zillion Canadian jokes here.  Not all keeping with the Canadian stereotype of PC or sensitivity or apologeticness!

One of my faves, in the style of Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck jokes (which got him made a Kentucky Colonel* believe it or not): “You might be a Canadian if… 23. You know that Canada is the only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.”  (Not that I advocate the violent overthrow of the United States government or anything!)

(*–Which reminds me of another joke whose punchline is, “It’s like the ‘Honorable’ in front of your name, Judge: It don’t mean a thing!”

Which reminds me of a conundrum: If Americans have to call Harlan Sanders “Colonel,” why can’t Canadians call knights “Sir”?!!)

The one about the temperature scale reminded me of the scene in the recent cable movie Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee, when Sitting Bull seeks refuge across the border, and the Mountie says, “I welcome you in the Queen’s name.  But I should warn you, the winters get pretty cold up here – this isn’t Dakota!”

The “Cultural differences” one about Americans, Australians, British, and Canadians is pretty good too, especially:

Brits:   Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
Aussies:   Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
Americans:   Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country.
Canadians:   Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country.

Hey, a little perspective is good, eh?  :)

Perky Canada

An oldie from The Onion I just discovered is about one-sixth of the way down the page – spot the highlighted text “Perky ‘Canada’” in the article’s title on this page from Google’s cache.  Very droll.  Most of the rest of the stuff on this page from the ’90s is pretty funny too, especially the one about Windows 2000.  LOL!

“We value your outrage.”

Not simply a lying, “Your call is important to us,” like when you call any other company and all lines are busy, or they’re closed, or whatever.  This message greets callers to Silk Soymilk ([888] 820-9283) after hours.  Very cool.  :)

Arrest Scooter Libby and lock him up!

Please, any U.S. Marshal, or even a police officer or civilian making a citizen’s arrest.  He is a convicted, sentenced Federal criminal out of jail without legal cause.

His purported commutation is null and void because it was NOT a commutation!  He never saw the inside of a prison cell, and hasn’t exhausted his right of appeal.  Instead of a commutation, therefore, it was illegal, unConstitutional, impermissible Presidential interference with the Judicial Branch.  As Bush himself stated, “I made a judgment.”  Unfortunately for him and Scooter, that’s the Judicial Branch’s job, not the Executive Branch… at least under the Constitution.

Of course, this bunch tore up the Constitution on December 12, 2000.  Now we have the Judicial Branch electing Presidents, Presidents “making judgments” and evading instead of executing the laws of the land, Congress reduced to a consultative assembly like in some Arab emirate, Republican House Speakers electing Congressmen, the Vice-President inventing his own Branch of government, and the voters completely excluded!

I won’t believe they’re going till the plane touches down in Crawford on the afternoon of January 20, 2009!  Unless of course they steal another election, and Congress, the Courts, and the people again let it stand, so we’re saddled with another version of the same dictatorial regime for another four, eight, twelve, 200 years!

Go after Gonzales anyway!

Impeach and convict him in Congress so he gets no pension and never again holds “an office of trust or profit under the United States,” like these other Bushies who’ve kept coming and going since the ’60s!!!

Furthermore: “Even my worst days as attorney general have been better than my father’s best days,” Gonzales said.  This shows just how out-of-touch with human beings the man is.  I doubt his father would agree!  AG has been spoiled by money and power and criminality.  Does he have any normal friends left???

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